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12/21/2010

Winter

Winter
Winter makes me think of toasty things like hot chocolate,
warm coffee and campfires,
Winter makes me think about family and friends and birds in the brown
grass begging for food.
It makes me think of how lucky I am to sit in a warm house and the embrace of 
warmth as it encircles me from head to toe as I sit in front of the
fire and hear the inviting crackle of the flames.
Winter makes me think of home.

Winter makes me think of people on the street who stand around a
barrel to warm their freezing hands. It makes me think of gloves
with missing fingers and blankets filled with holes. It make me think of the cold, of bone
chilling dampness and loneliness. It makes me think of the hungry and those with
no one to care. It makes me think of soup kitchens and animals which shiver in the
cold rain. It makes me think of how blessed I am.

Winter is many things to many people.
This winter I feel God and know that I am special.
This winter I am warm.


12/13/2010

World Peace

World Peace

Today I came face to face with hate, a vicious hate, a hate which cost an 18 year old boy his life.
I was reading my local paper and on the front page was the picture of a nice looking well dressed
young black man. His skin was smooth and youthful. His eyes crisp and clear. In the year of 1957
his life was deemed worthless. He was brutally murdered by unknown white men. I stood at the nurses desk as I read this. Tears welled up in my eyes and a rush of grief for someone who lost the ultimate. His name was Rogers Hamilton the county, Lowndes county in Alabama. Alabama the state which I call home. The state which I love.......
It went further that there are at least 60 cold case files in Alabama believed to be racially motivated.
It saddens me to my soul. How can we love yet not allow our love to reach across the color of our skin or eyes or if our hair is straight or wavy. My pastor has been preaching a series on tearing down walls and building bridges. Walls of racism, hate, alcoholism or anything else that destroys lives. How can we travel to Haiti, or Mexico, or Africa to lend help when there are so many hurting here. I believe we should help them but it should start here. If you can not sit or work or stand by someone of another race without thinking of them first as Black or White or Asian or Hispanic you should take a closer look within your heart. Are you prejudice???  Really ???  Are there walls there which you do not even recognize?   Lets help each other...
Let us be kind and helpful.  The other day I was at church , I reached in my wallet and noticed that I had $40.  I gave it to my pastors wife and told her to give it to someone in need. As I got to my truck on my way home I realized it was my gas money for the week. In fact it was all the money I had for the rest of the week. I almost panicked. Guess what I have not ran out of gas yet. Still I go to work each day and have not done without. I say this to say this. Let all of us reach a little farther. Let us dig a little deeper. Let us love a little more and as we look at ourselves this Christmas season let us be able to like what we see. Did God make just blacks, or whites or people of a certain race. No!  by all means no. He made us all and loves all equally. Our skin may be different but our hearts , our souls, are all the same color. If racism even flickers at all in you, pray that God will cleanse you and make you like him. That he will help you to love.........period.

11/27/2010

The Day After


The Day After
Now I know where Thanksgiving  got it's name.
Thanking God that it is over. I know I must have gained
a dress size. I ate so much Turkey that I am beginning to gobble.
We had so many pies and treats that I still remember how great each
one was. We played Dirty Santa with ornaments and what fun. Of course
I did not win the one I wanted but my sweet Nephews wife gave it to
me after it was all over. I said Oh! I can't take this from you and she said
we only wanted it to keep anyone else from getting it. How sweet :(
I got to hug my strong handsome son once again and my daughter in law
did an outstanding job as a hostess. The children played and laughed and
we were thankful once again for all the fun, joy, and food.
Even the dog was happy. My mom had
such a good time at 86 years old. We got up this morning and it looked as if
a bomb went off during the night. As we packed up and was getting in the
truck for the long ride home we heard shouts coming from inside the house.
I went back to the house to inquire if something was wrong. My nephew
laughed and said No! I was just shouting to drown out the silence.

Thank God it it over till next year


11/24/2010

Thanksgiving Givingthanks


Thanksgiving       Givingthanks

Today I sit here among family who are here and the thoughts of family who are coming and ponder what it is I am most thankful for. The first things that come to mind right now without much thought is family. From the ones who are stooped and need the assistance of a cane or walker to the youngest who can't function alone. I have to say that right here right now it is not money or a fine home or a nice ride. It is family. My daughters who love me as daughters should love their mom and call me often just to tell me that they love me. My son who loves me in his own way and who calls me and says the funniest things. It is my husband who I depend on and lean on in more ways than even I know. It is my mom who has supported me in many different ways all of my life and who I find pleasure being in her presence even now. It is my sisters who make me laugh and who I still like to be around. It is their children who I helped raise.  It is a brother who is strong and a steady influence in my life. It is even my dog who right now is in a crate in the corner watching the commotion of a loud family with children running to an fro. I am thankful for love and the comfort of belonging but most of all above all else it is the breath of life that I have been given by a God who is much, much bigger than myself. Who has put me here for such a time as this. For these things I am thankful and may I never quit givingthanks for even the simplest of things.  

10/12/2010

Grizzly's Demise


This is a funny story yet painfully sad. Parental discretion is advised.

     It was a hot summer day in July. The deep south Robertsdale, Alabama was even hotter. My sister Sandy and I had gone there to visit my oldest sister Jeannie. As it happened Jeannie was sad as someone in her life had just died so she was quite tearful. We were doing all we could to cheer her up and make her smile.
     Jeannie is a gardener of sorts and always has the most beautiful flowers blooming throughout the yard.
She lived in a two story house and had a heavy wooden swing on the porch and this was our favorite place to visit. You could sit out there any time day or night and see something beautiful. Butterflies fluttered by, birds chirped, and chickens clucked. A cup of hot coffee was always welcome in the quiet country setting.
We sat and passed away hours reminiscing about happy times.
      Jeannie went inside and her giant black dog grizzly bounded around the house. Grizzly was one of many animals because Jeannie loved dogs, cats and birds, in fact when we would occasionally grow tired of our animals, not to worry she would gladly take them. Grizzly had belonged to my daughter Julie. Julie moved and could not have a dog so Aunt Jeannie inherited him. Grizzly had a thick coat of long hair and he smelled, well! he smelled like a long haired hot dog.
     We were standing out on the porch looking at the great outdoors when Grizzly bounded down the little dirt road to Jeannie's house and across the street. Jeannie walked out at about that time and I said to her, "You better call Grizzly, He is across the street." In a loud anxious voice she called " Here Grizzly, come on boy, Here Grizzly"  As we watched in horror Grizzly bounded back across the street. SCREECH, THUD,THUMP  and OH NO!  Yep you guessed it Grizzly gave up the ghost.
       We ran to the street with Jeannie getting there first. She picked him up and started carrying the 115 pound dog home. When we reached her we assisted her as she was hysterical with crocodile tears streaming down her face. She was so pitiful. We finally got home  and she informed us that we have to bury him. Jeannie lives on a farm with a pond and she picked out the most perfect spot overlooking the pond for him to be laid to rest. We gathered shovels and a pick ax and was about to dig the grave when we realized something bad. As I lifted the shovel above the earth and tried to sink it into the ground I heard a thud as my arms were jarred from the brute force. I looked at Sandy and in unison we said "SANDSTONE". Jeannie had went back inside to cool off and we just looked at each other for a minute while trying to decide what to do. We dug for seemingly an hour with sweat pouring off our brow in the 100 degree heat. Sandy looked at me as I was about to faint and she said "We can tie something to him and throw him into the pond, Jeannie will never know". Horrified, I went to look for some rocks. As we both doubled over with laughter we started back to digging. Finally 4 hours later we were able to put Grizzly to rest as Sandy's sons quoted the eulogy   "Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust, We loved Grizzly and Grizzly loved us.

10/03/2010

As Autum Breezes Blow


Cool gentle breezes blow the brittle dry leaves indicating that fall is here.
The squirrels are frisky and leap from one branch to another, one tree to another
as they feel the freshness of the mountain air. They can sense that things are different.
The leaves are changing from a deep green to an array of many colors.
Red and Gold, Purple and Orange are seen across the hills starting at the top
and creeping down toward the valley as though an artist has painted each leaf.
Fall, the time of year when steps grow brisk and  children's laughter seems a little bit
louder, a little happier. I am reminded of the autumn of life. I had the privilege of listening
as a doctor told a story. My parents are getting older and the time has come that they need my help.
They took care of me all my life and now is my time to give back to them. He told us of parents
who gave him love, laughter and financial support. They live in Florida and he lives in Anniston, Al.
I am going to move them here. I am buying them a house and I will be sure at all cost that
they have what they need from now on. I believe that I saw tears in his eyes as he told the story.
I know you may think it is easy for him. He is a doctor and can afford this. I think of another
story similar in deed but this involves someone not so financially well off. It involves my sister.
Almost one year ago she opened her home to my parents. She is no doctor and was not able
to just buy them a home near her but she did something equally as noble. She moved them in with
her. Two people soon became four. Attitudes differed, personalities had to transform to become
able to accommodate the change. My mom cried, my sister cried, my dad cried. Sandy's husband Jimmy spent a lot more time outside. Since that time my dad passed over to the other side of the rainbow yet my
mom still remains in the care of my sister. Their lives are so different, more changed than even I
can comprehend. My mom who is the sweetest mom, the best mom in the whole world now lives
 in a new home. She left all that she had in this world and it wasn't easy.  Her hair is gray and her
hands are not as strong as they used to be. Hands which spent years helping others now need help.
As she tries to fix her long hair into the neat little bun my sister gently takes the brush and softly
brushes wisps of fine broken hair into the updo. This is a major feat because my sister has
short hair. She helps my mom to the store to shop as she tenderly pushes her in the wheel chair.
Mom can walk but she has fallen many times and it is safer this way. She takes her to the
doctor and makes sure she has all her meds but most of all she makes sure
that in the autumn of her life she can still have the happiness
she has been afforded by God above, a child who loves her. My mother has 4 children and we
all think she hung the moon. We all love her but as life would have it I work full time and my husband
is disabled. My brother works full time and takes care of his household. My sister Jeannie has a husband
who is not only disabled but bedridden. My sister Sandy quit her job as a nurse and made a tremendous
sacrifice. A sacrifice of love. So now as the air does become a little cooler and wind is crisp it makes me
remember to say a simple prayer. Thank God for love and family and that life doesn't really end with the
change of the seasons but it goes from joy to joy. It's makes me to know that autumn is beautiful in all arenas and that even as it changes slowly to winter with barren leaves and trees which become naked and stark in
the cold winter air life continues, also love and family, and the things which really do matter..

9/21/2010

Something About Cats




There is something about cats. You either love them or your hate them.
I have never heard anyone say oh yes! I absolutely like cats.
I have always been a cat lover even tho I don't own one
now or rather I am not owned by one because unfortunately
my husband doesn't love them. He is a dog man.
As you know I am a nurse and have close encounters of the 3rd kind.
It was my pleasure these last few days to be privileged to care for a little lady
94 years young. Her hair is white and her beautiful pale complexion
accentuates her bright shining eyes. I leaned close to talk with her because
her hearing was not quite as sharp as her mind.
She had been telling me about the two cats who love her.
She cares for them daily and she loves them back.
Here in the hospital she said how she must hurry home to care for them.
It dosn't matter that she is sick  her cats need her.
Today she was told that she must go to rehab for 21 days.
Suddenly the twinkle left her eyes as they became misty.
What is wrong I ask, rehab will be good for you and you will
return home soon. She looked straight into my eyes and with a
sad quiet voice said "But what about my cats?" Her niece assured
her that her cats would  be taken care of but to her no one could
love them like she loves them. That is the thing about cats, they
hug up next to you and steal your heart and make you dependant
on them. You see, they don't really need you. It is the other way
around. There really is just something about cats.

9/20/2010

Pumpkin Latte


Pumpkin Latte

I am not one who usually enjoys sweet coffee like drinks,
Those specialty creamers now available in most grocery stores
do not bring me joy. My co-workers cherish it. they can't wait for more,
but me I prefer plain old coffee with just a little creamer and a touch
of sweetness added.
                                    However

Every Fall there is a wonderful thing out there called Pumpkin Latte
My heart does grow faint thinking about it and even now my mouth becomes
moist and a smile eases across my lips at the thought.

I must have it. The thoughts won't end. I pass by Starbucks because
I seldom afford myself this luxury. $4 for a drink is just too much yet
as I drive by I find myself turning in. I pull through the drive through
and order. As the coffee artist hands me my purchase I thank her and
turn my attention to the task at hand. As I sip the warm brew I savor the
sweet spicy flavor and feel myself relax. A horn blows in the distance
and wondering why I realize it is not in the distance at all. I forgot to leave.
It is the car behind me wanting anxiously to be next. I am sure that their
drink of choice must be a Pumpkin Latte.

9/18/2010

Small Among Millions


I am only a small person among countless millions,
I live in a comfortable home on a quiet street,
I see the warm glow of the sun filtering through my kitchen window
as I sit and have my first cup of Joe. I contemplate the day ahead, 
I plan out the course of my time, of  the people I will
see of places I will go, of the things I will accomplish.
I listen for the sounds of my husband stirring in the
next room where he is still sleeping.
I savor each moment, each breath, each thought,
realizing just how blessed I am to be here, alive
on this beautiful day, beautiful even if it were raining,
I am chosen by God to be here, at this time in
this place, for this purpose.
Under my breath I say a prayer, a prayer only myself and
God hears. I thank him for the blessings of my life.
I talk to him about life and events that have impacted me,
about things that will change my life forever,
I look out the window and see the dawning of the morning
and with a smile and a gentle sigh, I leave it all in his hands
knowing that whatever comes my way will be according to
a divine plan. I pray that as a potter molds the soft pliable
clay that I will relax and let him mold my life as he makes
me into a beautiful vessel. A vessel used for his purpose.
I am only a small person among millions but I am his person
and I am blessed.


9/09/2010

Thirst


There she was, so fragile sitting in that hospital bed. Her hair gray except for the very tips which were washed out brittle red. Her skin was pale with all the pink tones now gone. She was like a ghost resting there among the sheets and blankets. She tells of a good life. For ninety two years she has enjoyed her health, her family, her home. And now here she is with us. Pneumonia and congestive heart failure have finally brought her low. Her fluids are restricted and we tell her what to do. Keep that oxygen in your nose. Stay in bed. No you can't have anymore water. On and on for days she listens. Each time I come into the room she begs in a birdlike voice. Water, that's it just one simple word, water. As I lean in close to explain once again, no you can't have any water. You have to much fluid and it stresses your heart even farther. In her 92 years of wisdom and knowledge she looks deep into my eyes and with a crystal clear sureness she says to me. When I get to heaven I will have all the water I want. I will look for you and we will drink tall glasses of cold wet clear water. Well! what can you say to that. I went straight to the bedside table and poured her some water in one of those little pink cups which are standard for any hospital visit. As I lifted it to her parched lips she sighs and says once again in that little bird voice Aah! Water.

9/06/2010

Safety at Sea

As a ship upon the oceans sail its tossed both here and there,
A storm comes up the winds they blow the sea becomes a snare,
Will it stand, or falter fast upon this raging tide,
It's steadied now on quieted seas, The makers hands the guide.
My ship it sails on tides of pain of deep and dark despair,
Yet when I feel like falling low his arms I know are there,
He picks me up, he holds me close, he'll never let me go,
I know the master of the storm, He loves me this I know,
As a ship upon the oceans sail it's tossed both here and there,
I worry not about my life because I'm in his care.

9/05/2010

Amazing Grace

Today I went to Sunday school. I saw a smiling face.
We sang how Jesus loves me, of his amazing grace,
The preacher stood before us with a smile upon his face,
He told us of a story where true love was displaced,
The boy left home and spent his all, he squandered all he had ,
He lead a life of trouble then he thought back to his dad,
He looked up from a pig pen with mud upon his face,
He said I'll just go home to dad a servant at his place,
He walked along the dusty road his steps a rapid pace,
He wondered if they'd welcome him, would they reject his face?
His dad glanced down the dusty road, Who is that lad I see?
I can't believe my eyes he said God's brought him back to me.
With hurried steps he ran to him, he welcomed him with glee,
Today we'll have a feast for kings my boy's come back to me.
 Today I went to Sunday school, I saw a smiling face
I've come back to the father, I sing Amazing Grace.



9/04/2010

Crazy Grandma


I used to tell my children. Don't have children, I don't want to be a grandma.

They would just look at me like I was crazy. I meant it, every single word.
When Lacy my youngest daughter became pregnant she did not even tell me.
I wonder why? Anyway inevitably I found out. I ask her, Lacy why didn't
you tell me? She answered; Mama you don't want grandchildren. How stupid I was.
Stupid is a harsh word but not harsh enough. Then my beautiful little Michelle was born.
Julangela I called her. She was so beautiful with silver blonde hair and a scream that
could shatter glass. Then my oldest daughter gave me two little boys. Both are mischievous and bold, both daring and acrobatic. They climb, and roll and torment my dog. They have broken my valuable things, and have won my crazy heart. I can't even remember not being a grandma nor do
I want to. So if you get a chance encourage your children to procreate and then hang on
for a fun exciting ride.

9/02/2010

I Dream a Dream


As a night bird sings a familiar song my
 hopes and dreams go on and on,
dreams of houses big
and cars shiny bright, or will I be content tonight?
My house is small but my roof don't leak,
and in my kitchen there's food to eat.
On my feet is a pair of hose
full intact without any holes,
My shoes are sound, I walk where I will,
and for this day I have paid all  my bills,
What more can I ask, I am sickness free
but if some were to come to me,
I'd still have to say that my lifes been good,
my dreams fulfilled as only God could.
As the little bird sings his song tonight,
I rest easy knowing that I am alright.

9/01/2010

What Have I Done?


As days of life drift slowly by I often wonder what I was put here for?
I am a friend to the friendless, a mother to my children, a sister to my siblings, a child
to my mother, a wife to my husband, a co-worker to my co-workers yet in all of this am I
doing and being what I should to fulfill my purpose? Do I do enough? Do I give enough?
Have I influenced one soul in a positive way? Have I been the reason for positive change in the
life of others? Am I about my fathers business or have I goofed off and dropped the ball?
Only time will tell so I continue hoping that in the end I will somehow have pleased
my maker, the maker of heaven and earth, the only one who matters.

8/31/2010

The Last Day


If I knew that today would be my last
What would I do, Who would I ask?
To forgive me for harsh words or deeds,
How could I help fill someones needs?
Would I cry or be depressed,
Or would I strive to do my best?
To win a soul or help the lost
to find their way before the cross.
And as I go would I look back and
see my heart was filled with black,
And on my knees before the throne
I'd ask forgiveness for my wrong.
And as my black heart's cleansed and white,
I know that he may come tonight,
While others here may take my place
I smile and sing Amazing Grace.




8/30/2010

Thumbelina

Her name was Thumbelina she was ugly as could be
Not soft and cute like dolls today yet beautiful to me,
I held her tight I told her stuff she was my dearest friend,
When Sandy ripped her arm off I knew she would not mend,
I carried her to mama and placed her in mom's hands
She said bring needle and some thread I'll fix her up again
With tender hands she sewed each stitch with thread that did not match,
All I wanted most of all was Thumbelina back,
As I became a woman and dolls were put away,
All I have is memories of some far yesterday,
And then it was on Christmas a few short years ago,
A box with shiny paper tied with a pretty bow.
I peeped inside It could not be, a treasure from my past
I lifted Thumbelina out Oh what is this I ask
Her limbs intact no mitch matched thread around her arm you see,
My sister searched this whole wide world to find this doll for me.
My grandchild begged to hold her once with hesitation done
She gave her back I looked at her Oh! my where is her thumb.





8/29/2010

Terrified Teddies

In my den are teddy bears all lined up in a row,
there's red and brown and beige and gold with girly frilly bows,
They sit alone from day to day untouched by human hands
They come to me as gifts of love from family and from friends,
Then she walks in with long blonde hair determination sure,
She dosn't stop till she has her hands on each and every bear,
Their in the chair, their upside down from ceiling to the floor
The look of horror on their face till she walks out the door
In my den are teddy bears all lined up in a row
there's red and brown and biege and gold with girly frilly bows

8/28/2010

If I Had A Dollar

If I had a dollar for each time I've felt his grace
I'd put it in my pocket then I'd give a lot away,
I'd find a needy person and I'd buy them some new clothes,
I'd find someone with torn up socks and buy them some new hose.
I'd buy some food for someone who has nothing left to eat
then, I'd buy a home for someone who is living on the street.
And if I'm left with nothing when the evening time is come,
I'd smile and feel his grace again though money I have none.


8/27/2010

I Met A Friend Today


On the street today I saw a friend I never knew before
A tattered shirt and ragged pants set him apart once more,
The people there they pass him by as though he don't exist
But underneath that shaggy coat I knew I'd met a friend
He grinned at me, he tipped his hat, I offered him some lunch,
 A grin as big as Cheshire cat as he said thanks a bunch,
I watched him saunter down the street and he vanished out of sight,
Underneath my breath I said a prayer that he'll be safe tonight.

8/26/2010

This to Shall Pass


When tear drops fall and will not cease,
Then days seem long and nights won't leave,
When sadness overwhelms the heart 
and grief lingers in the dark,
Look up above to skies of blue
The raindrops fall God cries for you. 
Another day will bring the sun,
Through fields of flowers you will run,
And looking back on days of pain
You will look around and welcome rain.

8/20/2010

Our Differences

                                   http://angelasullivanfineart.com/works/491884/crossing-the-pond
   I guess with cigarettes it is either that you love them or hate them. I don't believe there is a middle of the road. If you are addicted to them they are closer than a friend. right in you front pocket or at least close within reach. You eat , you reach for them. You drink, again your hand fumbles instinctively for them. You experience any stress and you feel the instant need to smoke. I know all of these things because I live with and love someone who has smoked for 45 years.
          I have never smoked but I can remember when I was a lot younger I found or somehow obtained a cigarette. I snuck out back and pretended to smoke. Funny how of all the things in life some things of insignifence stand out as if it happened yesterday. Anyway, there I was standing behind our house leaning up against the cool cinder blocks pretending to smoke. I was feeling so grown up and powerful. Why I only smoked that once I don't know because I still remember that feeling. It felt really good, or maybe it was just the adrenalin from my little secret.
        My husband Benny smoked when I met him but I sure didn't know then what I know now or I probley wouldn't have married him. Now I love him with all my heart but we have been through some hard times partly because of him smoking. When my children were small he smoked in the house. I didn't know any better. Thank goodness none of them had asthma or breathing problems.
       Because of him being a smoker my life has been changed. I have endured riding in the pouring down rain with the window down cause he had to smoke. I have seen him buy cigarettes when we needed milk. I have smelled smoke and smelled like smoke. I have seen him angry and almost frantic when he was out.
       Today after 28 years of marriage and many heart attacks, severe lung disease,along with constant shortness of breath he still craves cigarettes. He quit about 2 years ago but the desire still remains. He will never be over them, his love for them and his addiction to them. He is in a hospital bed now struggling for breath with each coughing spell. Now he has ekg changes which is probley the beginning of another heart attack. If he were offered a cigarette right now mabye he would take it even though I hope he wouldn't.
       Now that I have said all of that, here is the rest of the story. I am greived and my heart aches for what I have lost and what I am surely going to lose. I realize that I have certainly been blessed. I have been married to him for over half of my life. I have lived with him longer than I lived with my Mom and Dad. He is my everything. He is my best friend and the love of my life and now I stand at a crossroads. What will happen of course I can't say for sure but I have a pretty good idea. I dread the thought of having to live alone. Even as he has been in the hospital I sit at home sometimes just me and the dog and I don't like it. Benny became disabled in 1993 and since then day in and day out we are together. Now that our comfort is threatened I am afraid, Afraid of being alone and  taking care of myself. I have depended on him for too many things. He washes my clothes and keeps my house clean. He holds me when I am lonely and comforts me when I am sad except for now because he dosn't realize my fears. I can't tell him that. I think of all I will lose. The gentleness of his embrase. The reckless abandon of his laughter. The warmth of his skin. The scent of him. 
His crazy thoughts which are so different than mine. He is thin while I am fat. He is friendly while I am reserved. He is strong when I am weak. He makes me laugh. Despite our differences He is everything to me.
      I hate Cigarettes.

8/19/2010

I'm Just No Good Without Him

I'm Just No Good Without Him
My husband who from this point on I will refer to as My Benny is in
the hospital. I am Home Alone and I don't like it. Not only am I sad but I hear
things that go bump in the night. My dog Oliver is even sad. For instance today
I came home from the hospital and he is just howling to beat the band. I sat down on the sofa and even though I tried to console him he just wasn't right. Another reason that I know I'm just no good without him is that I went into the kitchen to make me a balogna sandwich and I glanced at the dog dish and realilzed he was totally out of food. No wonder Oliver cries when he is left alone with only me. I miss My Benny and want him to come home. I'm Just No Good Without Him.

8/18/2010

A Dog's Love

I look at you with trusting eyes, Your scent I won't forget.  I lavish
you with kisses on your face that is now wet. My heart is tied to your heart,
I will love you till I die. A dog's love goes beyond the grave
and never says goodbye.

8/17/2010

Top of The Mornin

Top of The Mornin
Today is a wonderful day because I am still breathing, and breathing easily I might add.
I do not need supplemental oxygen. I can walk without a cane and I don't have to be confined to a
wheelchair. I am somewhat in my right mind. I can and do make my own decisions. I am able to support
myself. I have a great job as far as jobs  go. I am a nurse and have been part of saving the lives of others.Better than that I have an awesome home life. I am a painter of
pretty things. Some are good and some not so good. I have the pleasure of loving and being loved by my
husband, my children and my grandchildren. When I do have a bad day I have comfort in knowing that there will be a tomorrow. And if not, that will be okay too because I will hopefully be going to an even better place. So in light of all this Top of The Mornin to ya! Have a blessed day.

7/04/2010

The Other Side of The Rainbow

The Other Side of The Rainbow
James Elisher Johnson
June 28 2010 my dad went to the other side of the rainbow.
In his memory I post this.
Who was he? I never want to forget so while it is so fresh it hurts I will tell you.
He was a great dad. He was good to me. I can remember when I was a small child he held me lovingly in his lap. He smiled at me a lot with my blonde curly hair I thought he hung the moon. I knew he loved me. I felt it always. He taught me so much, from fishing, and playing to hard work he helped to make me who I am today. He taught me to never give up and that nothing is impossible to those who persist. He was a hard worker very rare was the time that he would take a break. He was up at first light and to bed early. He taught us never to cheat , lie, or steal. He held us to a high level of honor. He had steel blue eyes and gentle hands. He was missing part of his thumb from an accident. He had soft gray hair which was always neat and trim. I remember him in overalls and in later years a baseball cap. He loved fresh tomato's and mayonaise in his lima beans. He was an avid fisherman and had a camp on the Alabama river. He taught me to fiddle for worms, tie on a fish hook and how to clean fish, and roof a house. He didn't go to church when I was a child but prayed a lot during his last days here. He called me puddin. He thought I could do anything. I thought he could. I loved him more than even I realized. He loved cats, and sitting on the porch watching the hummingbirds. He could be found there early in the morning as the sun came up. His coffee was always a half a cup with just a little creamer. I can remember him whistling as he worked. In fact I just remember him. Randy Travis wrote a song about him , it was titled I thought he walked on water. I know it had to be about him because it described him to a T. When I think of him I think of the river, of fishing, and hard work, a big open smile and hands that rolled biscuit dough. When I would say I can't he would say yes you can. I remember hearing him say I love you baby.

I miss him already.

6/22/2010

The Coming Storm

As you know I am an artist. I painted this in response to the sad news of my dad's health condition.

The Coming Storm.
It was Sunday, Fathers day. Three weeks ago my dad who is 86 years old decided to go and check the garden. He got on his motorized chair
and started out. About two hours later when he did not return my mom went to the door to take a look. Off in the distance she could hear him calling. Mom woke my sister Sandy and she went to him, laying there on the hard ground.  She didn't know he had already had visitors. My dad loves cats and he has a mama cat and some kittens. Each one of them had drifted by to lay beside him until help would come. Each one of them heard his cries and responded in their own way. That was just the beginning. My dad was taken to the hospital and was in horrible pain. In and out of confusion we watched him. Sad yet realizing that we are so blessed to have had him for this long in pretty good health.
Sunday Fathers day we came to see him in droves. Probley not what the doctors and nurses expected. I am sure they think we should come more often and less in number yet everyone lives in different towns and none of us within a 2 hr drive of the hospital. To our surprise he knew all of us. Calling each one by name he just kept saying take some pictures so the children won't forget. I knew what he meant. He knew more. He kissed the kids, held hands with my mom, laughed and made plans. We visited for a couple of hours and then all went our separate ways. Tuesday Sandy took  mama back to see him. He was confused and did not recognize them. He was in pain. The doctors spoke with them and told them that he probley has cancer of the spine. Crying my sister called me and we wept together over the phone. When it is your dad you are never ready. When it is your dad it hurts to the bone. I am only glad that God gave us one more day ironically it was Father's day. A wonderful day with our Father, (Daddy).
Even though we had a wonderful day yet even now I feel it , The Coming Storm. 

2/08/2010

11-7

11-7 , The best shift. In my opinion of course. Humor, laughter, giddy laughter I mean comes out in all of us in the wee hours of the morning. Work is a wonderful thing to do because not only do you make money but you meet the most unique people. This story is about someone I met at the hospital in the middle of the night. The security guard. I don't even know her name yet I speak to her night after night. She is so nice. Always smiling and pleasant. She is in her 50's, a woman of short statue, long wavy hair and a few missing teeth. How my life crossed with hers is a blessing to me. It makes me think about the luxuries I have like a car. She comes in at 11 pm and gets off at 8 am. Last night it was a horrible night out. The wind was blowing hurricane force and the rain coming down in torrents making the 30 degree weather feel like 15. She waltzed into ICU with the usual smile accentuating all the missing teeth. I like this lady , she makes me smile. She stated that she was cold tonight. She was wearing long sleeves under a woolly vest with a jacket over. I ask her why she was so cold? Obviously it was warm in the setting of ICU. She told me she just could not seem to warm up after her walk to work. Usually she rides a bike but not tonight , tonight she walked for the distance of approximately 7 miles through the wind and rain. The weather was to bad to ride the bike. Then it hit me of how lucky I am, how blessed that I never have to walk to work especially in the rain. I look at her as unfortunate because she doesn't own a car. She looks at it as a blessing that she has a bike and is able to walk if she needs to. Then I consider how I would feel if I had to walk to work especially on the 11-7 shift in the pouring down rain in 30 degree weather. As far as I know she has never once called in sick. And as I pull out of the parking lot in my nice warm truck, I think of her again knowing in just a little while she will start the long walk home in the pouring down rain with the wind still whipping the leaves along the highway. I almost wait to offer her a ride home but then I don't and am grieved by my decision not to.