Thoughts, they invade our being from daylight to dark. From the beginning of life until the very end. They are always there circling, flitting in and out. Whether good or bad they hang around. Sometimes thoughts take us to a happy comfortable place but also are the sad ones that bring tears or melancholy. They can be triggered by a smell or a laugh or even a gentle breeze that blows or at Christmas time the aroma of fresh baked cookies can take us back to a far away place. I read my daughters blog which mentioned the smell of coffee.(www.juliesjournies.blogspot.com) and I began to think. Well! there you go again. I think right now of my life. It has been good and bittersweet. I have been for the most part happy and can I even say comfortable. Comfortable is a good place to be. In comfort there is peace and calm , a place where your heart beats a little slower and your whole body begins to relax even if only for a little while. I believe that wrinkles and gray hair does fade when you are comfortable.Thoughts, they make us real and span every mood. They distort our face into smiles and frowns. They make us who we are.
The love of a life time. 67 years of tears and joy, happiness and pain. Laughter and sadness, and yet today all that I see is my mother who is 85 years old and has the jitters of a first love. As she walks slowly down the isle with my brother by her side gently steadying her, she is happy. You can see it in the glow of her now pale face. Her laugh lines are deepened now with age and she is absolutely beautiful. I ask her before the service if she wanted to walk down the long isle or enter from a side door which is a shorter distance. With firm determination she said to me "I will walk down the isle". So as I stand here proudly I watch. Tears fill my eyes. She has stood by my dads side through thick and thin, in good times and in bad. She has felt anger and happiness. She is a virtuous woman. Out of this marriage is 4 beautiful children who she nurtured and cared for. She worked hard to create for us a happy home. Of course we did not see it in younger years, but as I look at her today I am again filled with an awesome love and respect for her. Through all the years of my life I have never heard one negative word about her. She is a christian and tried to instill in all of us a love for Jesus. Of course we have all gone our separate ways and have beliefs of our own but we will never forget what mama taught us. She carries a pink bouquet the color of her choice. Her sister Naomi stands by her side just like the day she first said I do before a justice of the peace. After standing for a few minutes she sits quietly at the front watching as something beautiful takes place she is getting up in years herself. Mamas great grandaughter Olivia is right there beside her smiling her cheesy grin. I realize that she will never know the woman she stands beside in all her riches. She will only know her from stories that she is told. I hope one day she will be aware that she once stood by a great lady on one of the happiest days of her life. I sang a song "Through the Years", how approiate. Only it doesn't say enough. As my mom and dad sit next to each other in white rockers as the words are said and they each say I Do once more. I see a sparkle in mamas eyes that is not always there day in and day out. She broke her back a few years ago and has endured much pain because of it. She walks a little more stooped these days but she is still feisty. She will still tell you what she really thinks. She is happy when her children visit. And she still waits on my dad hand and foot only now it takes her a little longer to fix dinner or sweep the floor. Even now she is so special and I love her with all of my heart. Thanks mom, for being who you are, for standing up for what you believe in. I hope to be even half the woman my mother is. She is a wonderful person and all who know her is truly blessed from heaven above.
Sitting here I think about life once again. How blessed I have been. My life seems to go slowly yet rush by. I just wonder what meaningful thing will I do today? I think about that in just a few hours it will be over, gone forever. How sobering. What will I accomplish. Who's life will I touch and will it be positive or negative. Will it pass by without shocking events or will it drift slowly by. Aah! It doesn't really matter, what does matter is that I make the most of every moment. That I do my best today. I am painting again. I am never happy with what I paint especially after my wonderful husband Benny points out the faults in each and every one. I show them to him so proud and he says something like this "yes it is good but the mouth is wrong or that is not the right color". He of course, is always right. Sometimes I wish I could trick him and for once he will say that is great and I will say but what about the mouth "just right" what about the color "prefect". I am just daydreaming that will never happen. Not in this lifetime. Not today at least. But as I am reminded by Julie my oldest daughter. Practicing for the next one, that is what I am doing. Who knows what tomorrow holds. Let it be good.
This entry was written by my oldest sister LuJean.
As I sit here on this Mothers day I think of my mother who seems so far away. Even though I can't be with her in person because we live 100 miles apart. My heart is always with her, not only on Mother's but everyday. My memories wonder back to when I was a little girl and mama was always there for me. She has always been loving and kind even when she had to discipline me she always did it with love. Mama was there to give me hugs and kisses, to wipe away my tears and sing to me. One of the songs I remember most was Prayer Bells of Heaven. She would sing gospel songs as she went about her household chores. She taught me to go to church and love the Lord. I am 65 years old, the oldest of four children. We are very blessed to still have both of our parents with us. Tears come to my eyes as I remember the good times and the bad times we have faced throughout the years. With me being the oldest, I probably remember the bad times more than my brother and my two sisters. When times were hard mama sacrificed her own needs for us, but she never let it interfere with the love she showed us. We seldom saw her tears even though I know there were many. I know now that she trusted in the Lord to bring her through. Mama and Daddy just celebrated their 67th anniversary and renewed their marriage vows. She was still a beautiful bride as she walked down the aisle on my brothers arm. My mother is a precious lady and I hope I can be half the mother to my children as mama is to me.