Wonderful Watercolor. What a change from when I started. As stated before I am going to a three day class. Today is the last day. I feel much better about it than I did the first day I started. My painting does somewhat resemble the subject. One thing I learned is that most of the other people in the class have the same feeling I do. Yesterday it was with a sigh of relief that it all started making sense. Hooray, Hooray, Hooray.
Wow what a day. I went to a watercolor class today at Raleigh,NC. I have to say I was glad, sad, frustrated and who knows what else. When ask by another artist if I felt good about my painting I just looked at her and said "I am just practicing for the next one." I hope this is a positive attitude. I learned it from my daughter. Oh well, we will see. I know one thing for sure I could be a clown artist.
Procrastination is one thing in life you really should not do. For years I have put off things for later that I really should have done today. It seems like I would have learned a lesson. Not. I still do it. I remember making my daughters wedding dress and cake and still sewing and working on them the day of the wedding. Also at my mom and dad's 50th wedding anniversary. What is it with me. Some say I work better under pressure. I don't believe it. What I do is work frantically under pressure. As I sit here today I am panicking because I ordered art supplies for an art class I have at 10 am tomorrow and my supplies are not here yet. I didn't spend the extra $5.oo for express delivery. Oh no I decided to risk it. Now I am about to cry with my daughter and son-in-law and husband all but teasing me. Well I am in no teasing mood. When will I learn but more importantly what will I do now. Waah-Waah-Waah
Sitting here in my art studio with my youngest daughter Lacy. We sat we laughed, and laughed, and laughed, especially when we were listening to music and I glanced around and with mouth wide open and head bobbing she blurted out the song. I don't even know which song. It didn't matter only the total abandon and spontaneity of the moment. I am still laughing. Moments to treasure. How funny the funny things that make us laugh at ourselves and others.
"Life is a few days of trouble a wise man once said. But I'm not complaining for I'm sheltered I'm clothed and I'm fed." How true is that. I may not ever have all or be all I hope to be but I have enjoyed a lot. I have been on the top and down to the dregs of the bottom. In the end nothing matters except that wherever or whatever I am doing , I am doing my best. To do no harm. That is part of the physicians oath. What a statement. How difficult to go through life and do no harm. Not just physically but mentally. Words can hurt or lift up, they can tear down and destroy or make a bad situation worse or a whole lot better. Now let me be about my fathers business helping others, lifting up, encouraging. Help me oh Lord when I falter to steady myself and continue. Continue in the most Holy faith. To keep up the good fight even in bad times, even when I don't feel like it, even in the midst of a storm. Continually encouraging others may I make a significant difference in the lives I touch. To do no harm. How awesome.
My Benny. My Benny has been with me for 27 years. I would like to think that he chose me but in reality I must confess that I chose him. I will never forget the first day I saw him. He was a little skinny man with jet black hair. I don't know if I would have picked him out in a crowd but there he was at my mom and dad's store. He had come to meet me. I had just got off from work and was tired but when I saw his smile I suddenly felt rested. We talked for a few minutes and agreed to meet the next Friday and go the movies. We went to see a Richard Pryor film and it was so offensive we left halfway through it. He took me home and I would never have guessed that the rest of my life would be wrapped up in his arms. He swept me off my feet by his kindness and gentle ways. I loved him at first sight. We married after a 6 months. I had two children and he accepted them and treated them like his own. I certainly wont tell you that we never had our ups and downs because we have but our commitment has weathered it all. I am glad that now 27 years later I can still say he is my best friend. I love him and defend him even when he is wrong (which is a lot of times). He has had a lot of medical problems and I can't imagine my life without him. In 2001 we left our home in Alabama and went to Montana. I took a contract as a travel nurse and we loved it. We camped out west with the bears and wildlife. We fished and didn't catch much but all the while our love for each other grew stronger. He has loved me when I was skinny and now that I am fat. He has loved me when I didn't deserve it. I am convinced that no where on this earth is there a man as magnificent as My Benny. There is no man as great or as kind. There is no man so perfect as him. Therefore I will never love another. He is my everything.
Flowers of the heart are flowers that bloom inside of you. They are there and pop up when you least expect them. When you are having a really bad day and someone special calls that is , flowers of the heart. The other day I was sitting home just minding my own business when the doorbell rang. I wasn't expecting anyone. I wasn't waiting for any deliveries. I looked out the door and no one was there but at closer inspection I found a long slender box sitting in the old rocker on my front porch. I carried it in with a puzzled look on my face and to my surprise as I opened it, inside I found this beautiful bouquet of sunflowers. A card tucked neatly inside told me that they were from my oldest daughter. The one thousands of miles from home. I smiled. Flowers of the Heart sent from thousands of miles away from my daughter who was thinking of me. How blessed I am. How wonderful to be called her mom.
What if you woke up tomorrow and never heard another bird chirp. What if the bees stop buzzing. What if you could never smell rain again. What if you can't see the trees when the wind gently sways there branches.What if everyone you love is gone and you never see them again. What if they never see you again. What if you never feel the wet kisses of your dogs tongue on your face again. What if you can never say the words I love you again. What if you never hear the words I love you again. What if you can't feel love. What If.
Things that make me smile. Just a thought. These days I seem to get bogged down in the everyday mundane things of life and at times have to stop myself and say "self things aren't as bad as they seem". As I go to work day in day out I should be more thankful for what I have and my ability to do things. I am not just a stay at home, cook three meals a day, watch TV and read kinda lady. Not that these things are bad after all some people do have a special knack for those things. But I am more. The things I absolutely love are as follows, family first always, my precious Benny, my mom and dad , children, siblings and others that have reached out and grasp at my heart strings. I love painting even tho really I am not that good.View them at http://www.angelasacrylics.blogspot.com/ I can sit in my new studio and paint for hours on end, days, weeks,months and probly years. Too bad I have other fish to fry tho and life continues, Thank God. I smile right now as I hear the gentle voices playing in the next room. I have had the pleasure of keeping my grandchildren this last week and it has been quite the experience. I have learned a lot like if you go out and buy them airplanes to fly and one breaks they both get thrown in the trash while I sleep because one is no good without the other. I have learned how delicious mac and cheese is and that koolaid will come out of the carpet if you are persistent and also permanent marker. I do wish I could keep Logan also who is living with his aunt Becky while his mom is deployed in Qatar. I smile when I am brought yellow weed flowers by the hundreds and I show joy with each and every one right before they find their home in the white grave of a trash can. I have kissed boo boo's and cleaned yucky butts. I have wiped tears and listened to endless laughter. I have been a referee and a teacher. I have felt love. I still have most of my hair but I noticed this past week that it is a lot more gray. I don't care for that is trivial. I have helped paint cars and butterflies and bunnies that you have to look very close to pick them out. I have lived and smiled today as with many other days. I have loved and have felt love and really when you think about it what more could I ask for. So now in answer to my question "What makes me smile" Well I sit here with a big grin on my face and tell you , Life does.
Honestly I am honest. I realize that only a few things in life are important. Family, friends, and last but not least "Days Off". I dream of having an art gallery ( will never achieve) but yet still I dream. I hope to achieve peace. I want to live an unhurried life. Promoting a calm environment, I never like controversy. I will go out of my way to bring harmony. I never thrive on chaos. Don't get me wrong I am not a pushover but I strive for the title peacemaker. When I have to point out the faults of others I always try to do it diplomatically. I never want to embarrass or hurt the feelings of others. I am a bit shy in a crowd at least to begin with. I feel that I do warm up fast. I hope to earn the title of being a good mother, daughter, sister, wife, friend. I don't need roses pinned on me but do hope that I am the topic of quiet conversation in a good sense of course. But on the chance it is not so good I don't want to know about it. I like helping others and listening to their needs. What am I? I am a person who loves both God and Country. And so I will continue. I will write, I will paint and just carry on. Stay tuned for the next episode of MY LIFE.